Marquette University Intimations Project

Nenad Paunovic

I have always looked at life in two ways, one being the moments of impact in which defy us as human beings, and two there is one appointment I cannot miss, which is with the almighty Creator; however, the second one is simply because of my strong devotion to Serbian Orthodoxy. My entire life, I have followed my own convictions; even if my back got placed against the wall, I would simply tear the damn thing down and keep going. However, Serbian Culture will show that you stick by the family, no matter how difficult certain times may be: you stay by their side. On March 12, 2020, I received an email at 10:34 A.M from Marquette University that informed the entire university and me that a switch to a “new normal” will impact us as everything was shifted towards a low-energy virtual world as many professors, students, and university workers appeared to be lost in the moment. I was lost during this moment of impact that the email weighed over my head. 

As I watched many people lose motivation towards academia who were absolutely brilliant but fell due to the burden that this plaque brought with itself of being anti-social, I stayed on course because of one reason: my family. As I locked myself inside of Cudahy Hall to continue my studies and other pursuits for 5 months, frequently, I found myself in tears because of the constant thought of “When will I be able to just hold them in my arms again?” I was lost for the first time since I lost my beloved grandmother. I knew I could not live in the past again, as I spent much of my sophomore year living in the past as the moments I shared with my grandmother often ran through my head. 

If I could have come home, I would have, but the risk of infecting my family was uncertain as no one knew the accurate measurements of this novel virus as it raged through the world. The extent of communicating through FaceTime and GoogleDuo was simply not enough for me as I grew homesick for the ones I loved; I grew homesick because everything I am doing at the moment is to justify the sacrifices my parents made for me throughout my entire life. I have always dedicated any space of time to relish the moments with my family throughout my life. To them, I owe everything, and unfortunately, time does not care. Time is the one thing that we can never get back, and in the end, it takes everyone out: time is forever undefeated. 

As I continued to spend countless hours studying inside a lonely building, I met a 3rd shift custodian named Rosa in a deserted city during those moments. “Why are you always here? Do you ever sleep?” were the first words she fired at me. I simply replied, “I care about my grades, you can say, a bit too much. However, you may not like this answer, but I can sleep when I am dead because I have seen firsthand what it takes to achieve success, and by working these countless hours allows me to help others who have deeply impacted me in my life in the future.” 

Life did not technically stop; society was just furloughed till further notice. While I may have appeared to be an “outsider” to her as I spent countless hours in that building, I was okay with it because I have been an outsider most of my life since I came to this country as a refugee. Still, I have seen outsiders make a positive impact that is everlasting within this nation and worldwide. One thing I can say to anyone who is an outsider is, “Embrace that label, go forth into the world with your own convictions, fight for what is right and let the critics watch you on the sideline because the moments of impact you bring forth on others is what they cannot do because they do not have the guts, endurance, or courage to do what is right.”