Marquette University Intimations Project

Annie Kealy

I spent most of quarantine in my house with just my dad and my oldest sister, who we had to isolate in the basement as she was a nurse in a hospital that had become overwhelmed by COVID-19. My mom and my middle sister are immunocompromised and for the sake of their health, they stayed away from my sister at my Old Mommy’s (Grandma’s) house, taking care of her due to her stroke and dementia. This is besides the point, but it gives a little background as to what my experience was like. 

I am the youngest of three girls, meaning my dad was out of luck with getting a son and labor partner. While it’s a bit dated, I think he always longed for at least one son to do “boyish” things with, but as there were no sons, he decided I was the next best thing. When I turned 12, he started bringing me along to help with handy things, whether that be mowing the lawn, fixing car lights, or maintaining our two-flat that we own, just about anything he thinks needs fixing. My dad and I have always struggled to get along and find something to talk about, but the one thing we were able to connect over was the work we did together. Since we had ample time and little to do, my dad decided that we would take advantage of the time in quarantine to fix the many repairs that my old creaky house had accumulated. 

An important thing to know about my dad is that while he loves to repair things, he is the least handy person I’ve ever met. Try as he might, my dad just normally ends up making things worse. Nevertheless, he was determined that we spend the extra time we had on our hands fixing up the house. Once we realized that quarantine was longer than we initially thought, we started to take on more tedious and time-consuming tasks. His big idea would be fixing the fence in the backyard, which to me was beyond repair, but my dad believed we could do it. It needed a new gate post, fence posts needed repairing, and a protective coat, so to start, we needed to dig a hole to pour concrete in and mount the gate post. We ended up spending Easter Sunday mixing and pouring the concrete and finally getting that post to stay, rather than taking a holiday and celebrating with my mom and sister. We spent countless hours at the hardware store and in our backyard, doing our best to get this fence looking semi-decent and we finally finished right as the school year ended. Once the summer began, my mom and my middle sister moved back home, as Old Mommy’s caretakers had returned, so the house became a bit more crowded and the conversations became more lively. I started working again, and Dad was still working from home, so our weekdays were a bit busier. We had less time to repair things around the house during the day but still made time at night and on the weekends to take on more projects. Even though my mom and my sister were home and could help, my dad would only ask me to assist him in that day’s assignment. 

Towards the end of summer, I was preparing to head back up to school so I had stopped working, but still had time for one final project. My dad and I spent a week repairing the wooden porch posts since the wood had rotted severely. It had felt like our projects at the beginning of quarantine; we were in over our heads and we were devoted entire days to working on it. I would jokingly complain to my friends about how I didn’t get a moment of downtime because my dad always had something new for me to work on. However, it always made me a little frustrated that my dad never asked my sisters to help him and would always make me do it, forcing me to delay plans with my friends or spend the entire day outside in the heat or cold to fix something that would inevitably break in a few short months. 

I returned to school and would talk to my dad now and then when my mom was on the phone, but not too much. I went home for Christmas break and found myself extremely frustrated with him, once again. He dragged me out of bed to repair the car headlights with him on Christmas morning when all I wanted to do was go in the house, open my presents, and have a cup of tea, rather than standing outside in the freezing weather, doing something that could be repaired any other time. I got to see my friends more over Christmas break, since we had all been super careful about not getting sick at school and I took advantage of that, leaving my house as much as possible. 

A few months ago, one of my best friends’ dad died suddenly. He had been going about his day, had a freak accident, and never woke up. This was devastating and had shaken my friend group since her dad was someone who we all considered to be a fantastic guy and our favorite person to watch the Bachelor with, thanks to his excellent commentary. . Her dad was fairly younger than mine and was the image of health, so his passing was even more angering. We were over a year into the pandemic and we were so close to a vaccine, I had finally taken a sigh of relief once vaccines were announced, knowing my parents could get them and be safer. I got so wrapped up in the idea that every death was COVID-19 related, I forgot that sudden accidents can happen and that life can be cut so short so quickly. This was the first time I had cried all year,  it was incredibly sad and my heart hurt so much over the fact that he had made it through most of the pandemic but died suddenly and now my friend’s world would never be the same. When I came home for Easter a couple of weeks later, I realized how much I had missed my dad and how much I appreciated this time with him. I didn’t complain when he asked me to assemble the patio table with him and practically jumped at the opportunity when he asked if I could get my shoes on and help him outside. No matter the chore or how unnecessary it seems, I don’t mind doing it, because it gives me more time with my dad and many more memories to make with him, no matter how insignificant they may seem. 

My dad and I always had a disconnect because I had been his last chance at a son. His slight contempt for me was as obvious as mine was for him. As I grew older and as we started working together around the house, we started to connect more and get along better.  I now realize that my dad chose me as the only kid to help him with the house is his way of finding common ground with me and trying to bond with me as best he can. While quarantine was isolating me from my friends, my mom, and my sisters, it brought me some clarity about my relationship with my father. Looking back, I realize that quarantine was a gift to me, by whatever higher power is out there, forcing my dad and me to spend some time together and have some of the longest conversations we’ve ever had. While I still make fun of his lack of handy skills to just about everyone, I say it with fondness. After all the time we spent working on projects during quarantine, my dad still isn’t handy with a hammer, but he gave me plenty of stories to tell about what quarantine was like for the two of us, and for the first time in my life, I have an inside joke with my dad.